Bracing Myself For The Goodbye, Because That's All I've Ever Expected

It obviously doesn't make a difference if I like him or not. He hates me. He doesn't tolerate being around me. He deliberately attempts to get away from me whenever possible. I am so sick of this.

I used to be the one he'd tell random stuff to. That's the only way I ever found out I wasn't the only person in the world who sometimes practices violin in their bathroom.

Now I have to practically pry words out of his mouth. All for a "Hello" or an awkward "So."
We used to be "THE NON-COUPLE." You know, the two people who are so close, everyone THINKS they're *together*, even when they're actually not. That was me and him. This time last year, that's what we were. And now, if you hadn't heard my heart break, you'd think we were total strangers.

I deserve better.

I deserve better than him.

I need to get over him and fall this hard for someone who won't break my heart (for a first).

I shouldn't have to go through this.

He was my friend, but now he's just some bastard who makes me miserable.

*sigh* How can a Taylor Swift song be so depressing?

She sings
"You are the best thing that's ever been mine"
I hear
"He is the best thing that's never been mine"

She sings
"Brace myself for the goodbye because that's all I've ever known
Then you took me by surprise, you said 'I'll never leave you alone.'"
I hear
"Gotta brace myself for the goodbye, because that's all I've ever expected.
He won't take me by surprise, because life is not a fairy tale unless you have curly hair and a recording contract."

Bracing....bracing....bracing....