Blogging The Golden Compass, Part 1

Welcome to the first installment of Blogging The Golden Compass! I, Mary (embracethecheese), will be conquering a chapter every week. Here I go!

What I already know about this series:

-It’s really popular.

-It was developed into a movie, which I saw at my friend’s birthday party a few years ago. Despite seeing the film, I am NOT worried about spoiling my book experience, since everyone else at the party told me it was absolutely nothing like the book.

-There are talking animals in it. Ohhhhh, joy. *sarcasm hand*

-I’m pretty sure the plot revolves around dust. This could mean one of two things:

• People are idiots, and this series is vastly overrated. OR
• The author has brainstormed new life into something that’s as lame as dust, and this book will not suck.

Dim the lights, draw the curtains, and let the show begin! (I have been in waaaay too many dramatic productions.)

Chapter One:

Oh goody. I am four words in, and they've already mentioned a talking animal. The book appears to be about a (human) wannabe spy, Lyra (who has no last name as of yet) and her (animal) "daemon," Pantalaimon. Did Lyra name him? What was she, like, five? Nah, never mind. A five year old probably couldn't pronounce something with that many vowels.

The story begins with Lyra and Pantalaimon wandering around in a big, fancy great hall area. They are obviously not supposed to be there, since Lyra keeps looking over her shoulder, afraid of the servants showing up and BUSTING HER.

Pantalaimon *snicker* turns out to be a shape-shifting talking animal. He is currently a moth, since he needs to be almost invisible in the humongous crowd of people surrounding him and Lyra. *rolls eyes* If I was a shape-shifting talking animal and no one was around to see me, I would turn into something awesome like a peacock, or maybe an okapi. NOT a moth.

Lyra starts babbling about the steward ringing bells, Pantalaimon accuses her of "not taking this seriously," and the plot suddenly clicks in my brain. I totally get it now. Lyra has just started college, and this is a hazing-initiation-thingy for the sorority she's joining. BAM! CAN'T FOOL ME!

The two troublemakers head across the hall to the Retiring Room, described by Lyra as being pretty much totally off-limits to anybody except for scholarly dudes. She's never gone in there before, even though she's lived at the College for her life.

........................................................

*headdeskfacepalmheaddeskfacepalmheaddeskfacepalm*

It actually IS a college? I was kidding, you know!!! My predictions are NOT as funny if they're dead-on right. *sigh*

Lyra and Pantalaimon continue snooping, when they suddenly hear someone coming in. It is "the Master" and his servant, and THE MASTER (someone who is this obviously important deserves a name in all caps) inquires as to whether Lord Asriel (Lyra's uncle) has arrived yet. He instructs the servant to give him food when he gets to the College, and the servant leaves him alone (with Lyra and *snicker* Pantalaimon).

THE MASTER dumps some poison into the wine he just set out for this all-important Lord Asriel, and quickly departs the room. Lyra and Pantalaimon are planning to leave too, but they hear the Steward's bell calling people to dinner, and are forced to hide in a wardrobe.

As they watch the Steward do some last minute preparations, Pantalaimon starts bitching to Lyra about how she needs to listen to him when he's being an unadventurous, wimpy sissy. They argue about what to do about the poison, Lyra infers that the fancy robes in the wardrobe are for THE MASTER to play dress-up, and then she explains that Lord Asriel and THE MASTER are both important political figures, and this is a high tension time in their world (aka, there'll probably be a war).

Lord Asriel arrives while Lyra and Pantalaimon are sulking in the wardrobe. He ALSO has a talking animal with him, and he starts chatting about some PowerPoint he put together to show the scholarly college people. Lyra spies on her uncle, describing his tall stature, powerful shoulders, and glittery eyes.

*processing*

o_O

*processing*

I THINK LYRA IS HITTING ON HER UNCLE. Um....anyways...

He reaches for the poisoned wine, and she screams a loud "No!" since she is unable to watch her forever buddy (*shudder*) die. She jumps out of the wardrobe and he grabs her arm (omai!) and begins to interrogate her. Lyra admits she saw the wine being poisoned, but before they can continue this passionate heart-to-heart, more people show up and Lord Asriel forces her back in the wardrobe.

Lord Asriel finds a way to dump the wine on the floor, breaking the bottle (woo!), and whispers to Lyra that she should watch THE MASTER while he's in there, and he might find a way to keep her out of trouble.

The chapter ends with Lord Asriel staring down his daemon and promising THE MASTER that he has something interesting to show him.

Prediction:
Lyra and *smirk* Pantalaimon will continue to bicker, Lord Asriel will show his PowerPoint with a bunch of steamy vacation photos, and Lyra will describe in detail the delicate curves of Lord Asriel's toned abdominal muscles.